"There is a serene tranquillity to be found sitting next to someone’s car while they lay sleeping not 20 feet from where you are. Whether it’s the fact that you are about deliver answers to an aggrieved husband or wife, or simply that the world seems to find a level of peace during the early morning hours that elude it during the day, I don’t know. What I do know is that the shroud of deceit that the owner of this vehicle has hidden under for so long is about to be ripped away..."
Happy Valentines Day?
Cash flow needs to be managed to allow the secret withdrawal of funds from the joint bank account and for the truly daring, nights away holed up in a travel lodge somewhere supposedly working on phantom corporate projects need to be arranged. And lets remember that one can't simply announce that they will be away around the 14th if the hammer of suspicion is to be kept away; No, our cheater has to start laying the groundwork for VDAY: Part II months in advance. And even then its not over: Bank statements have to be intercepted as the postman delivers, receipts have to be disposed of, alibis have to be reinforced and god forbid you have to try and remove makeup stains from fresh white shirt collars.
All in all, the whole Valentines day period can be a very stressful one for our cheater so if you see two people with mismatched wedding rings sitting together somewhere romantic on the 14th, remember to congratulate them on their planning prowess....
The problem with affordable surveillance equipment
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2850147/Married-father-three-consultant-filmed-1-000-patients-colleagues-friend-toilet-hidden-spy-cameras-jailed-five-years.html#ixzz3KCJCYuJo Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
Are we born to cheat?
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2845864/Are-BORN-cheat-Scientists-discover-gene-suggests-inherit-adultery-parents.html#ixzz3JuKDWogf
Finding out too late....
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Okay, this is very long, but I need to tell someone About this because I have no one to talk to, it could be pretty graphic too (sorry) I just made this account to talk to people, I made other accounts on other websites too
My husband and I have been married for 2 years now, he is 22 and I am 23, we have a 10 month old son
I was at work and he was home with the baby, I came home a little early from work and there as a car sitting outside the house, I thought nothing of it, just that it was a friend. Came inside, heard noises, I went upstairs quietly and just remember thinking "no way. This is not happening. I'm dreaming. This is a sick dream" I pushed the bedroom door open and he was in bed with some woman, she was holding onto his arms, and they were red and sweaty, it was really passionate sex (the kind he never has with me.) and I was standing in complete shock
It was unprotected too and he just looked at me and kept going and said "um hi." Then I ran downstairs and I heard him swear and come after, I was down in the kitchen crying and he came in naked, still aroused, I shouted "how did you do this to me?" And he grabbed me and just held me while I cried. Then SHE came down naked too and looked at me and said
"Your are SUCH a baby!" and I shouted "who are you??" She ignored me and said "he finds you boring in bed." Then she walked out, gets her clothes and gets in the car, I go after and shout "how could you sleep with my husband, she ignored me and drove off.
He told me she was 44 and a divorcee and that she had a son. I can't look at him all I see is her holding onto his arms and I almost vomit my guts up, it's like a gag reflex kicks in.
It's not the first time, he has now told me he slept with her twice at her house while they locked her 6 year old son in the living room so he wouldn't walk in on them!!!
My mother in law asked me if me and him had had sex one morning a few weeks ago I said no and she had a funny look on her face, now I know because she has now said she came over and he was upstairs smelling of sex and the bed was messy, he told her it was me and him, so it was obviously a LIE and she was in OUR marriage bed again.
It breaks me heart even more because he did it all while our son was next door in his cot. And now his friend JUST revealed that when he was away on a business trip, they went out to a club and some model tried to seduce him but he refused, she told him her hotel room incase he wanted to sleep with her. So basically, he WALKED to her hotel room, knocked on her door and slept with her. Then came home and acted lovey dovey to me.
Also, we were playing monopoly with his nephew and I said to him "you're such a cheat." And he looked at me and said "what do you mean" really fast. I just said that he was cheating on the game, then he laughed really hard and said "I am a dirty little cheat aren't I?" A voice inside me head went "hmmmmm" but I just thought "no my husband would never cheat on me ever!"
We have not talked about what has happened in ages, we just go about our life, sometime I cry and he just ignores me one, one night he asked if I wanted "to make love" I said ok, but the moment we started, SHE flashed in my mind and I saw her holding onto his arms while they had really passionate sex, he NEVER has that kind of sex with me, I started crying and he ignored me and just finished off.
Sorry for the long description! Had to let it out, I told my mum what he did, and she and dad is coming over to have a chat with him, I told him this and he looked like he had **** his pants. I know he is scared of my dad, VERY scared of him. He's been acting weird today and hardly talking because he knows he will get it from my dad tonight. Sorry I had to let this out, I have no one to talk to, only him but ever time I look at him I see them I'm bed together, on my side of the bed too!!!
Taken from http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/families-relationships-50/1092376-i-caught-my-husband-cheating-all.html
How does a GPS tracker work?
In terms of working an operation, this obviously makes the whole thing safer (as the team don't need to be right on the tail of a target) but also makes things considerably cheaper. Whereas historically a team would have to observe a client 24/7 to get a detailed picture of his or her movements, they can now work 'reactively' using the intelligence supplied by the tracker to decide what is and isn't worth looking at.
So how do these devices work?
Basically put, they use a SIM card (as found in mobile phones) to send GPS data over the phone networks to a central server. We (and our clients) can then access this server via a webpage to see exactly where the device is using a password unique to that target and their case. They are accurate to around 10 feet anywhere on the planet and never sleep, thus never missing a potential lead!
The devices themselves are about the size of your palm and are attached to the target vehicle using two very strong magnets (and no, we haven't ever had one fall off!) They are completely self contained with a battery that can offer up to six months of tracking from a single charge. Attaching them to the car takes just a few seconds and tracking commences immediately.
Logging onto the tracking console (shown below) our clients can sit back and watch the vehicle move around in live time and get an updated location at intervals from 5 seconds to 6 hours. We can highlight potential danger areas (mistresses house?) and the tracker will text us automatically to tell us when the target goes there. We can also put the tracker to sleep or change the settings remotely to make sure that the tracking data we get is as accurate and relevant as is possible.
When did this become acceptable?
Looking through the profiles (who are mainly desperate looking men trying to regain some of their lost youth while fighting a receeding hairline and ever increasing waistline, or 40 something pouting women chasing their secondary school skin glow in vain) it is sad to see how many people value their marriages so little. No one attempts to hide the fact that they are married (there is a category on the site for singles to meet singles) and in fact, many refer to their marriages in their profile bio's. They say they still love their partners but the flame has gone.
So what happened to the days when affairs 'just happened', the result of drunken office parties or a chance meeting with an old flame? When did our society decide that it was OK to just wake up one morning, get the kids ready for school, kiss your wife goodbye and then log on to meet some random desperado for a quick tryst in a Tesco's car park?
Surely, none of us are stupid enough to believe that marriages are all sunshine and fireworks, but when did it become OK to just stop trying to regain the love you once had for your partner and instead immediately start looking elsewhere for fun?
If i could, i would tell the members of these websites to grow-up. Once you get married and have children, its not all about you any more (see this post) and there is more at stake than a quick pump to your under inflated ego.
You took a vowel when you said 'I do'.
Either have the guts to leave your family and go it alone (if that's what you really want to do) or toughen up, go home, delete your online cheating profile and focus on making it better with your partner. The other option is that your partner gets suspicious, calls us, we monitor EVERYTHING you do on your PC, phone and tablet and you get busted.
How to pick the right Private Investigator
We have been in this business for many years, and during that time we have seen companies come and companies go. Some leave little or no trace, others make a small impact and then just vanish into the ether when their owners find the work a little too taxing.
During our day to day operations, we come across these companies regularly. They mystery shop us almost weekly to find what we are offering that they aren't (its amazing how many follow our consultation procedures almost word for word!) how much we charge and what we're doing right that they aren't.
Surfing the web, its almost impossible to decide who to avoid and who to talk to based on websites alone (even the most shambolic company can have an impressive web presence) and it also now seems to be the norm for 'middle men' to promote themselves as your local PI, even when they are based hundreds of miles away and simply farm your job out to whoever is available.
One example of this can be seen by doing a simple search for our area. The words Private Investigator Milton Keynes when typed into Google should give you results for, well, private investigators in Milton Keynes right?! Wrong! The first two companies to appear in the list are these dreaded middle men, farming out your jobs to local agencies you haven't heard of and charging you twice as much for the privilege. Try it, click here and have a look
So, how do you know who to call and who to choose? Here's a quick checklist to help:
Does their web address contain which ever city you happen to type in? i.e http://p************r-milton-keynes.co.uk/? Chances are this is a middle man registering domain names country wide to try and corner the market. You will pay well over the odds and wont actually know who is running your operation
Do they answer the phone with their company name?
No? That's because they are answering calls from all over the country from many different websites and cant risk letting you find out. Try asking them who they are when they answer - they wont tell you!
Do they answer the phone at all?
Are they there when they say they are or are they simply running a part time business and working full time during the day
Are they considerably more expensive or cheaper than other companies you have phoned? It is generally accepted that surveillance costs around £45 to £55 per hour, give or take a little either way. If a company are charging something hugely different to this - why?
Are they a cash only (or bank transfer) Agency?
A modern professional company should have the facility to accept your payment by debit or credit card, and that payment should go into a corporate bank account. If someone insists you pay by cash or bank transfer, move on.
If you phone up a PI Agency and ask how much and investigation will cost, a good agency wont be able to tell you. That is because a good agency will take time to find out what you need and tailor a solution to you. If they don't take the time to get to know your situation, how can they possibly expect to be able to help you?
This is really a bit of a no brainer - in which ever industry you are spending money, you should be treated with respect and courtesy. If the call starts out badly and the Agent is rude or short with you on the phone, would you really trust them to look after you? (You might think this is a bit of a given, but we recently spoke to a competitor who almost shouted at one of our clients on the phone when he asked for a quote...Test them out: you can find them on Google in the first 5 companies to appear here!)
How long have they been in business?
This can be a tricky area as all companies were new once. That said, do you really want to be their test case or would you rather work with a company that have already proved themselves?
Are they happy to come and see you?
No? Hmmmmm......
Are you given the name and direct dial number of the lead Agent looking after your case?
How will you know who to contact with vital information while your case is running? If you cant even get a name of someone to speak to, how can they look after you?
Can you find details of their company on the web, other than their website?
A good Private Investigator will have strong links to the community and will have had their work featured in the press over the years. Take a look at Black Cat in the news here and see how many people we have helped!
Or, simply call any of the team at Black Cat Investigations and we can show you how its done!
It's not just you anymore...
Flicking through the channels, I came across a documentary following the lives of children going through the education system in East London. Much of the show was focused around the inane banter, successes and failures of our next generation, but one child stood out. Struggling in mainstream classes, the child had already been excluded from one school for bad behaviour before arriving at our shows destination.
The crew followed him over the weeks as he swore at and fought with teachers, disrupted lessons and the work of those around him and went from stand-off to stand-off as the school days went on. For long periods, he was absent from school altogether with his mother unable to get him to attend. The head teacher worked tirelessly with the boy himself and his parents to get him back on track - but it was all in vain. Following a week of absence and then a refusal to leave a class when asked by a teacher after yet another incident of bad behaviour, the decision was made to remove him from the school and try and get him enrolled in a local college that specialised in helping children with special needs.
I am pretty sure you have a mental image by now of what this child looked, spoke and acted like. But you would be wrong. This child was well presented, well spoken and generally well liked by his peers and in fact the teachers (when he behaved!). He was passionate about poetry and showed real flair when presenting Shakespeare to his classmates. He was intelligent and able to apply himself yet, frequently, he flew off the handle and completely broke down.
Take a moment to think about what affliction would cause his behaviour. ADHD, Asperger's, depression, bullying....What's your diagnosis?
This child was suffering from Divorce. He talked opening about the separation of his parents on Christmas day and about how his father leaving had affected him. He talked about how his mother cries and sometimes struggles to cope. His older and younger sisters also attended the school and the program showed them comforting each other during breaks. He talked about how angry he gets when he thought about how his parents have ruined their lives after 20 years of marriage. He told the camera crew that sometimes its all he could think about...
Before their breakup, this child was just another normal student.
When you have a family, you make a commitment to them that you will provide them with a stable home-life. That you will show them what a loving relationship is and that you will help them day to day to be the best people they can be. A divorce destroys that.
Of course, there are cases where parents separate and the children sail through the breakup with few problems. Then there are the cases, like this one, where a separation has such a massive effect on a child that they self destruct, get thrown out of their school and end up in a special needs college. That special needs college may not offer the same opportunities that a mainstream school does and a child's very attendance there will taint their future. Employers may see the education history on a CV years later a decline jobs based on it. Universities may (and many do) exclude children who come from special needs schools.
The child who's parent split up when he was just 12, may just feel the ripples of that every day of their lives.
Think about it.
Not without risks!
The road was busy. This is a major UK city after all and thus nothing ever truly stops. Cars were parked on either side but all seemed locked down for the night, ready to serve their owners a few hours from now during the morning commute to offices, factories and shop across the city. Pedestrian traffic was zero save for a few late night stragglers waiting for buses some 50 yards from me. Darkness would serve as a good cloak from their eyes and thus with a last scan across the residential windows around me, I made my way towards my target vehicle, GPS tracker and mini torch in hand.
Approaching the vehicle, I checked over my shoulder once more and, coast clear, hit the ground and rolled under the rear bumper. Just 2 or 3 seconds passed before the device was attached and 2 or 3 seconds after that, I was back on my feet walking back towards my vehicle.
Job done. About 30 feet from the target vehicle I turned back (old habits - I like to make sure that no-one is running over to the vehicle having seen me do my plant) and I see the indicators blink, the locks activated by a remote keyfob. I step back from the road to take cover of nearby bushes and hold my breath while I watch the target approach his vehicle, convinced he has seen me make the drop and come out to investigate. Instead, he simply walks to the drivers door, climbs in and drives off.
I breathe a sigh of relief and thank my lucky stars that I wasn't held up 20 seconds by traffic lights on my way there, as I am not sure what excuse I would use for a target tripping over my legs while I was under his car....
(Incidentally, you might wonder where the target was going at such a late hour. Lets just say that just taking into account just our part in this operation - which not including travelling time was about 7 seconds - this has now become our shortest case ever...)
Have you got what it takes?
By far the most common aspect of our job is watching people. Many people think that surveillance is something that anyone can do, but this couldn't be further from the truth. Leave behind your perception of the traditional private investigator, standing in the shadows with his hat pulled down over his eyes hiding behind a newspaper and instead replace that with a perfectly normal looking person sitting in a car on the side of the road for hours and hours on end.
Surveillance is all about patience - watching the same spot hour after hour for the 20 seconds of action that you need to gather your intel. You can't abandon your position through fear of losing this intel which means the only refreshments you have are those that you bought with you and toilet breaks are non-existent.
Imagine sitting in that same spot for hour after hour only to walk away with nothing (your target often won't perform as you would wish) Only to come back the following day and repeat the same exercise all over again - at what point would you lose your patience?
Most people that contact us don't get interviewed as we can see from their CV for the job just isn't for them, but for those that do, a practical interview awaits them. They will receive a briefing document via email with a fictitious case for them to work. The target will be one of our existing agents and the brief will be simple - follow the agent from point A to point B and record their movements.
Around one in 10 people that attempt this fail for the simple reason that they don't have the patience to do the job. They fail by blowing their cover by getting too close, by losing the target altogether or even in one case following entirely the wrong target for a whole day before contacting us to see if he got the job! (This chap, by the way, wholeheartedly argued that he was in fact brilliant at surveillance. When we bought up the small point that he had actually followed the wrong person for the day, he insisted that this was just a minor detail and argued that the surveillance that he had done had been spot on, wrong person or not!)
Contrary to popular belief, being a good Private investigator isn't all about incredible gadgets, high-speed pursuits through the streets or clandestine meetings at abandoned train stations. It is about being able to remain in the same place for a long period of time yet remaining invisible. It is about blending in to your surroundings and making yourself just another passer-by and it is about being able to pre-empt what a target might do to ensure you don't miss that vital bit of Intel.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to put you off coming into the field but before you do, why not test yourself... Go and park in your nearest Sainsburys car park and covertly note every fourth person to leave the store. Do this for five hours and let us know how you got on.
You never know, if you have a good list you might just end up working with us...
The great moral question...
'Amazing' Phone Tracking Software
Pointless, worthless, ironic (see below) and just plain rubbish.
Allow me to explain: There is no legal way that you can get access to your partners mobile phone information. Whether you want copies of texts, transcripts of calls or their current location, this sort of information obtained in anyway other than with the mobile phone holders permission, is a massive breach of both privacy and data protection laws. That is not to say it cant be done, simply that there is no legal way to do it. So how, i hear you ask, can the company who have such prestigious products under their belt as the Crazy Frog ringtone, make this monumentos leap into state of the art mobile forensics? Quite simple really....
This is how it works: In between adverts for ridiculous ringtones costing just £3.50 (then £5 per week thereafter until you decifer the cancellation terms) you see a claim for an amazing mobile phone app that allows you to track your partner (same payment terms as above) via their mobile phone signals alone.
You text them the code from the TV, they text you back asking for the number you want to track (this is the simplified version) you text it to them and hey presto! You start receiving details about the targets location.
Great hey? Only there is a flaw. Remember that none of this is legal from earlier? Unless of course they tell the target that they are doing it....Thats right - At the same time that you receive tracking data, so does the target in the form of a text message telling them that 'telephone number 0785816**** is tracking their phone. Cheating partner catcher PRO - bought to you by Jam****'.
So in short, this software is about as covert as sending your partner a card accusing them of sleeping with your boss. If you want to go down the forensic route, please dont choose a supplier that can also offer you The World Series Pool Championships as a phone game at the same time.....
Irrefutable proof
Occasionally though, even we have to bow our heads in admiration and acknowledge the power of Karma to deliver the goods on someone that epitomises the word ‘cheater’ on every possible level.
With your permission I will save your blushes and offer only an overview of something that happened recently that offers a lesson to everyone tempted to cheat on their partner...
The rush and the thrill of a ‘liaison’ in a public place has the power to stoke the flames of even the weakest fire. A sun dappled park, the enveloping shadows of a nightclub corner, even the alley of an urban residential estate illuminated by the moon. Or, in this case, the toilet of a major London Railway Station.
Risky? Of course. Romantic? not really. Safe? in a cubicle, to an extent...unless of course, midway during the act you happen to hit the redial button on the cellphone in your back pocket and proceed to broadcast the whole event to your wife.
Like i say, sometimes Karma delivers before we even have a chance to leave the office...
I know I shouldnt say this, but.....
Black Cat Investigations pride ourselves on offering a service that is second to none and make endless investments in both the training of our field staff and the equipment they use. This in mind, to see someone touting what is arguably the worst GPS tracking device on the market (£150 from eBay) as the lastest in investigative technology and broadcasting to the nation that by simply tying her hair in a ponytail she is able to become a different person (?!) infuriates us beyond all belief.
In reality, you can have an office full of cheap tat - glasses with hidden cameras in them, GPS tracking devices that only last three days at the most, watches that record sound (albeit only about an hour of sound) and clocks that monitor rooms - but none of this equates to what we believe to be the foundation of a good Private Investigation Agency: The Team.
(And for the record, our GPS Tracking devices cost us around £2500 and will track a vehicle for about 6 weeks!)
Merry Christmas Mr Jones
Multitudes of blue, red, green and white lights seem to adorn every house, and the Jones'* tree is so big this year that the fairy adored by all (but yet strangely thrown into a box at the back of the loft for the other 11 months) is now horizontal as the top branch bends at a 90 degree angle to accommodate the stippled artexing of the lounge ceiling.
Through a window a father sits with his sons to watch the latest instalment of James Bond, while mothers and daughters curse that fact that their turkey this year is 26.3% bigger than their Aga. (Worked out on Fathers new calculator)
Suddenly, father jumps up from his chair as his mobile vibrates on the table among the discarded wrapping paper still creating a fire hazard from that morning. Grabbing the device, he moves with practised silence into the downstairs loo, phone in hand to wish his other family a merry Christmas.
You see, this festive picture has two very distinct layers - Layer one is what we have just shared, but layer two is situated 45 miles away in another town. Not dissimilar in make-up, layer two contains a tree, a turkey, a son and a mother and all the festivity one could hope for. The only difference? When layer one contains a father, layer two doesn't, and vice versa.
One man living two lives, and, as they say, never the twain shall meet. Unless of course, the wife from layer one phones us the week previous to this to find out why her husband is away six months of the year and can only share every other Christmas with her and their family.
This case was closed almost a year ago, but as i walk the streets again and see the same familiar lights super-glued to houses i do wonder where Mr Jones* is spending Christmas this year and cant help but ask myself "Will that 8 foot tree fit in a bedsit?"
The Black Cat Investigations Team would like to wish all of our clients, past, present and future, a merry and peaceful Christmas...
*As usual, this is as assumed name!
RIP Claudia
Not always the most outspoken, the most noticed nor the most involved, they are never the less a vital link in the chain without whom the entire machine would eventually seize and grind to a halt.
Thus, to lose a member of the team, one who has been with us from the start and one who has immortalised our philosophy of Honesty, Integrity and Quality is a blow that leaves one questioning the higher powers as to why she should be taken from us during the prime of her life.
I speak of Claudia, who at just a few years old was recently lost, falling foul of the heat given by the exhaust of a Jaguar XJ6. A finer GPS tracking device we couldnt have asked for and thus this blog entry is dedicated to her and the bush she now lies in, somewhere off the A1 in London.
RIP CLAUDIA
(And Sophie, Beryl and Crystal - The other bugs we have lost to battery failure, mechanical faults and speed humps respectively!)
Trust
We pride ourselves on completing our client objectives quickly and effectively, exceeding their expectations and delivering a service that we feel truly represents our ethos of Honesty, Integrity and Quality.
But let's be realistic: we are as human as you and are not immune to delays. It is at this stage that we rely on the trust of our clients: trust in us as Agents and trust in Black Cat as an agency. If this trust begins to slip, one can soon begin to feel isolated as a client and 'left out in the cold' with regard to what we have offered.
Recently, a case came in to the office that was almost entirely intelligence based. What this effectively means is that the huge majority of the work involved was to take place behind a desk rather than in the field behind the lens of a camera.
In cases of this nature, one cannot always rely on the information required by the client coming forth on a specific date as the information we can obtain is from sources outside of our control, who, as do we, have their own deadlines to meet away from the work they do for us.
It is at this time that the groundwork we put in to all of our cases, the total commitment we have to all of our clients and the reputation we have worked hard to build in our industry comes into play. If you can trust us to do what we say we will do, we will always deliver. If you cant, we are not the agency for you.
Sent from my BlackBerry 8800 ® wireless device.
A note from Agent A's wife
When I met my husband, who I think you all know as Agent A I had no idea what he did for a living. To be honest, I thought he was in sales and this guise continued for about nine months into our relationship before I discovered the truth. In a way, I suppose I knew subconciously that he wasn’t being entirely truthfull with me about his life but ironically, there were more occasions where I suspected him of cheating rather than spying!
Because of this, I have no problem with what he currently does with Black Cat Investigations, In a way, I feel prouder of him now than I ever did before as I honestly believe that what the Agency does is incredibly noble. Having been cheated on before in a previous relationship, I know that if I had had the means to employ him or one of the team to find out the truth for me, I would have done. As a prospective ‘cheatee’ (!) the worst part for me was the not knowing. The going to work and not being able to concentrate, the watching of TV shows with my partner that touched on infidelity and both sitting there in silence with an atmosphere like blamanch! If, at the time, someone had offered to take all of that away and replace it with answers I would have jumped at the chance.
What of the late nights and periods away from home? To be honest, it doesn’t make that much difference to the quality of our relationship. Agent A is here more often during the day now than he ever was before and whilst we have no concept of a weekend as he works many of them, we simply have our two day break at some other point midweek (which is great for shopping as everyone else is at work!)
Anyway, the real rewards come after he has worked a night Operation as I can wake him up in the morning and present my pitch to him for those new birkenstocks I simply must have…normally, he is too tired to argue and by the time he realises what I have bought, the receipt has magically vanished….
What can we say?!
Black Cat Investigations deal with facts. We let the evidence we collect speak for itself rather than giving a personal opinion of what we think of a situation. This way, our clients are never misled by what they could misconstrue from us and we can remain distant enough from an Operation so as not to offer what could be a biased result (everyone is innocent until proven guilty remember?!)
That said, sometimes we encounter a situation whereupon our client is being so abused by his or her spouse that it is simply impossible not to take a view on what he or she really ought to do. Changing the names, places and specific details of the case, I would like to share on such Operation with you….
Over two years ago, a client came to us fearing that her husband may be cheating on her. Working over 14 hours per day, the onus was on her to cover the bills for the marital home as her husband claimed he was unable to work and thus, unable to contribute. Coming home each day, she would find that all four beds in their property appeared to have been used although it was just her and her husband residing there. After leaving this anomaly unaswered for over six months, she finally contacted us to shed some light on her suspicions.
The Black Cat team went into the property with her while her husband was out for the day and set up some covert audio visual recording devices in prime locations around the home: Lightswitches, plug sockets, clocks, lampshades even the old television in the master bedroom with the intention of finding out what was happening in her home while she worked.
All of the devices installed worked on a wireless frequency meaning that provided we were within 300 feet of the property, we would be able to monitor actvity from a van we had parked up around the corner. So, the following day, the surveillance begun. Two of us sat in the back of the van out of sight of the property, monitoring all sound and video coming from the installed devices.
It wasn’t long before the first of four visitors that day entered the house, only as we watched the scene unfold before us it became apparent that these people werent visiting him, they were working from the house.
Unbelievably, it transpired as we compiled a dosier of movements over the next three days that the husband was in fact ‘renting’ rooms out to local prostitutes while his wife worked during the day and early evening. They in turn were allowing clients to visit them throughout the day. The husbands payment for this arrangement? Lets just say he was paid ‘in kind’ and not in cash.
So, if we go back to the idea of not taking a view on a situtation, you can see how and why we broke the golden rule on this occasion as every now and then, we come across people who are going so far beyond simple infidelity that it becomes a joy to hand over the evidence to a client and know that she is going to finally kick him into touch.
If only we had left one camera in the house to watch the look on his face as she played the DVD that evening…..
In the words of a cheater....
Black Cat Investigations do not seek to destroy relationships and nor do we consider what we do a contributory facture to the breakdown of such. On the contrary, we believe that if used correctly, our services can help couples to look into what has caused one party to commit infidelity and start to repair the damage that such actions cause, after all, if we can force the truth out on the table people know what they are dealing with and can take steps accordingly.
Being in this business as long as we have, we have come to realise that infidelity isnt the cause of a bad marriage or relationship, but is just another symptom of such and thus, if it is just another symptom, isnt this something that can be treated?
In order to look into this further, we need to look at it from the point of view of someone who has cheated and try to identify what led them to do it in the first place. Tania* came to us after we have captured her husband Tony* on film having an affair with a co-worked. Tania knew that her marriage was at crisis point when she phoned us, though wanted to know why Tony chose to cheat on her rather than trying to talk to her about it so that they could get things back on track. Offering to mediate this discussion, both parties came into the Black Cat offices. This is what Tony had to say:
“Tania and I had been having problems for the last couple of years. When we met in 2001, we were both in great jobs earning good money and could pretty much do whatever we wanted to do. We had two holidays a year, ate out two or three evenings a week and had a great circle of friends around us that we socialised with on a regular basis. In 2005, our first child arrived, and while on the surface things looked great, it was hard as we had to put the holidays on hold and eating out or getting drunk together became a thing of the past.
James* was great, don’t get me wrong. He slept through the night after the first couple of months and compared to some of our friends who also had kids, we were having it reasonbaly easy. But in terms of spending time alone with Tania…zero. There wasn’t a set day that I can put my finger on when things changed, but over time, we became more like brother and sister than husband and wife and everyday could be broken down into a list of chores that needed to be done. Washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing. Me and Tania were effectivley put on the back burners while life continued around us.
I met Angela* for the first time about a year or so after James was born when she came to work at the office. She wasn’t working for me when she first arrived but we immediately hit it off and started to time our visits to the Kitchen so that we could meet for a chat throughout the day.
Early in 2006, we had a work conference in
Its worth mentioning that at this point, while I was planning what I was going to do, or at least try and do, I still loved Tania as much as when we first met and I still do. But something was different with Angela: The fire was there, that old spark that Tania and I used to have that had somehow become covered up by nappies and bath time. Anyway, I went on the course and low and behold, something did happen. The affair lasted for a year and a half until the Black Cat agents found us and there isnt now a day that goes by that I don’t regret what happened. After we were caught, I realised that Angela wasn’t something new and exciting at all, but was simply everything that Tania was when we first met. They even look a little alike. She reminded me of Tania in the days before James and before our life became a routine. Don’t get me worng, I am not trying to make excuses for what happened as there are none, I guess I just saw a chance to go back in time for a while and took it.
Getting caught and almost losing everything that I truly love has forced home how good I have got it with my family. Tania is my best friend and this affair has taught me that no matter how hard things get, I have my best friend right here with me that I can talk it over with”
Tony is typical of the people that we meet in our business. A lack of communication between him and his partner, toghether with a dramatic change in lifestyle, led him to seek the excitement he used to have with someone else, so it would appear that the key driving factor in what went wrong in this case was communication.
Tony and Tania apparently never talked about how they felt about their changing lifestyles and the risk here is that if you don’t talk to you partner, someone else will.
So this case illustrates that infidelity is just a symtom and not a cause as Tony and Tania are still together, but what can you do to treat the cause of the problem before these ‘symtpoms’ appear? Tony and Tania suggest the following:
- Communicate with each other about how you are feeling. If you feel trapped, tell your partner because chances are they do too and it is always better to be trapped with someone else!
- Remember why you got together with your partner in the first place and focus on that during hard times
- Accept that all relationships hit bad patches. These might last a week, a month or even a year but you will come through it and if you come through it together, you will be stronger than ever
- Make time for each other. If you cant afford to go out like you used to, cook dinner together after the children have gone to bed and eat in the dining room rather than in front of the TV
- Decide at the start of the week what you want to watch on TV and only turn it on for those shows. Spend the other times talking or simply sit together reading books
- Accept that both of you will find other people attractive, and don’t be afriad to notice people. There will always be people who catch your eye, it is simply how you deal with it that makes the difference
- Tell each other one nice thing every day. I.e, you look nice today or I love you
- Text each other during the day or send emails just to say hi
- If you can, get a friend or relative to babysit once a week or once a month and make this night your special going out night
- Look through old photos together of when you first met, it will remind you why you fell in love in the first place!
- Laugh about each others flaws!
Tony and Tania are still together and are trying to work things out after his affair, and we would like to thank them both for allowing us the chance to publish their story. It is their wish that other couples can learn from this.